It’s very easy to get very frustrated with stinky Who fandom.  Whether they’re:

    • Bemoaning the fact that 2009 will see a cutback in the show output – inspite of the fact that
      • we’ve yet to see 2008 (I mean some of you might be dead in 2009, why don’t we enjoy Series 4 first before we rip our clothes and throw ashes all over ourselves and not wash for weeks and scream Doomsday at anyone passing by); and
      • there’s gonna be a Series 5 in 2010, complete with 13 episodes (well, I don’t know that it’s going be 13 actual episodes.  I mean the new production team (if there is a new one) or RTD might decide on 9 episodes, or 28 8 minutes episodes or a special Doctor Who channel where it’s wall to wall new episodes) and isn’t that a good thing?
    • Protesting over all that jazz about accidental racism in Last of the TimeLords.  An argument you apparently won’t understand and can’t engage in on pain of death if:
      • you’re male;
      • think Rose was a great companion;
      • have a different interpretation of the last few minutes of Last of the TimeLords (heavens forbid that you might see that last scene between Martha and the Doctor as probably the highlight of S3)
      • they spell properly;
      • Don’t write slash fiction, or whatever it’s called; and
      • believe that this is the most liberal version of Doctor Who we’ve ever had on the screen.  I mean the people who send in letters about accidental racism and how evil RTD is forget that they’re are people writing letters to the BBC complaining that a kids show like Who shouldn’t:
        • hint at bestiality,
        • homosexuality,
        • have white people kissing black people and
        • ever acknowledge racism.
      • Which, of course, makes there letter saying Doctor Who is racist (accidental or not) look a little silly.
    • Screaming over the evil that is Catherine Tate.
    • Hating everything that is RTD’s vision of New Who, in spite of watching the show every single week without question.  Not that I have a problem with people critiquing the show but:
      • raise your hand if you’re getting fucking tired of bi-polar nature of Who criticism.  You either have to love every single episode, or you hate every single episode.  Why can’t we find a happy medium where well all agree that:
        •  the Dalek 2 parter was shit,
        • that Last of the Timelords was entirely not what we were expecting (though I happen to love the episode, even if that does put me in a very small minority); and
        • the Moffat and Cornell episodes were genius.
      • and I’ll be honest, I give lots of credit to those people who loathe RTD’s vision – of which they have every right to do – and have stopped watching it.  Which, if I was them, I would do as well.  I mean we all stopped watching X-Files after Season 5.  And those of us who continued to watch definitely stopped after we saw that episode in Season 8 when the midget guy from Talons of Weng Chiang, travels from India to America in the gut of a fat dude, only to come out of his arse when the dude’s on the toilet.  Badlaa I think it was called.
    • Crying because the plots are never coherent and have far too many plot holes.  Actually, I cry about that as well though I should make the following points:
      • Plenty of SF drama has plot holes (not that that is an excuse, but X-Files and StarGate are notorious for fucking it up)
      • Sometimes, it’s fun just to go along with the ride (not that that is an excuse because, frankly, an episode should be fun and interesting and make sense)
      • You people think too much (Not that that is an excuse, thinking is good and RTD and co should take more care)
      • Gridlock was meant to be a parable and was filled with metaphor which is why the plot seems so filled with swiss holes (not that that is an excuse… actually… fuck it.  I LOVE GRIDLOCK!)
    • Spitting up chunky vomit over the gay agenda.  I don’t even know what that means.  I mean do people seriously think that RTD is trying to use Doctor Who to promote homosexuality?  Do they?  Or is this a situation where think the show is too camp?  Another term I’ve never understood.  I mean I love the fact that Doctor Who has room for lesbian grandmothers in space.  And anyway:
      • Just because the show runner is gay and the producer is gay and some of the writers are gay doesn’t make the show gay;
      • And even if it does have a gay agenda, why is that a bad thing? 
      • There was always something a bit gay about Who.  You know, I know it, we all know it.
      • For a show that’s the poster boy for the gay agenda, there’s plenty boy/girl sex friction going on.
      • I hate the word emo.  I needed to mention that. 

    In spite of all this, I’ve decided not to care too much about Stinky Who Fandom.  Look, life is short, there are more important things to worry about and, let’s face it, when all you can do is think about incoherent plots, accidental racism and whether 3 specials in 2009 is the worst thing ever, you’ve stopped having fun.  Because, unless you’re getting paid to analyse the show and fret about it to the point of hating others and frothing at the mouth, you really got to start checking your priorities.

    The following wasn’t meant to be patronising to the people who might read this and fit the above categories.  But I can see why you might see it that way.

    Roll on 2008.