In Universes is the classic “Your Mileage May Vary” novel.

I loved the central conceit. Broken into eleven chapters, the novel follows Raffi and her/their experience across the multiverse. Raffi doesn’t travel between parallel worlds; instead, we encounter different iterations of Raffi. A world where her mother is formed of bees, where alien-infected animals have wiped out most of humanity, and where the Biblical “City of Refuge” becomes a literal place. In each of these worlds, she/they is a little obsessed with the multiverse and struggles with her/their sexuality and gender. Raffi is mired in regret over an incident involving a childhood friend, Britt, and the death of Britt’s horse. They also struggle with matters of love, whether it’s Brit, Kay or Alice, the three recurring women in her/their life.

My problem with In Universes is Raffi—namely, how she/they is portrayed. No matter the parallel universe, she/they is plagued with the same anxieties and doubts. It’s not until the very last chapter—which is incredible, by far the most vital section of the novel recalling the final section of Elizabeth Costello—that Raffi sees any progression. Around halfway through the book, Raffi’s anguish, her inability to process her guilt, starts to feel needlessly cruel, as if North is deliberately punishing her character.

This is where mileages may vary. What I perceived as harsh others might view as profound, especially those who have experienced the same fears and insecurities as Raffi. I am not that person. I may, in fact, not be the intended audience of the novel—because as much as we might believe that works of fiction are universal, that’s not the case. Some stories have an audience in mind, and in the case of In Universes this may not include a cis-gendered male.

Although—and this is where I get wishy-washy again—Raffi is Jewish (so am I). She’s Ashkenazi (so am I). There’s mention of Rambam (I did a thesis on him), Mishnah Torah (which I’ve studied parts of), chicken soup and kreplach (which is the bestest comfort food in the world). I related to all of that. It’s possibly why I loved the final chapter so much because it not only features the Arei Miklat (City of Refuge) but centres on the Jewish notion of confession (“Vidui”). And it’s beautiful. So good that I started to doubt my feelings toward the rest of the novel.

This is why I find myself in a limbo state about In Universes, which, on reflection, is appropriate for a book about the multiverse.