… I’ve lost 2.2kg (or half a man tit as I like to put it). I now weight 75.9 kg – looking to weigh 66kg for the prom, not there’s a prom to go too but if there was I’d want to weigh 66kg.

The problem with Weight Watchers is that, if you’re an obssessive lunatic like me, you end up alienating all the people you love and driving them insane. Every time a friend of mine puts something in his or her mouth, I can’t help scream out the number of points it’s worth. Or when I’m watchig Veronica Mars and she’s making a stew for her dad, I immediately snatch for my points book (a well thumbed treasure trove of point related goodness) and check to see what Veronica’s stew is worth. And at the movies I stare at people eating greasy popcorn, calculating how many points they’re gobbling up. I want to go up to them and say, “see the oil smeared on your lips complete stranger person? That’s worth at least 1 point, depending on the oil. Is it vegetable oil? Do you even know? And the residual salt on your fingers, each digit is worth 1/2 a point, meaning both your hands are worth 5 points. See where I’m going with this complete stranger person whose trying to so hard to sidle away from me and not make eye contact and now is turning to her friends only to find that they’ve scapered coz they saw the Weight Watchers points book in my hand before you did. Don’t be frightened, I’m only trying to help you…”

And so on and so forth.

So yeah, Weight Watchers has ruined my life and the life of others. I highly recommend it. (No really, I do).