This is what I wrote on Outpost Gallifrey about my short story, Policy to Invade, which appeared in the lovely Doctor Who Short Trips collection – Transmissions.  I’m posting it here, rather than linking it, because I know some of you may not have access to the forum. 

PURPOSE

1. To describe, in excruciating and mind bogglingly boring detail, how I came to write the story Policy to Invade for the Doctor Who Short Trips: Transmissions

BACKGROUND

2. A couple of years back, the very lovely Richard Salter asked me if I’d write a story for Myth Makers. Which I did. And while it wasn’t the greatest piece of Doctor Who literature, it made enough of an impression that Richard gave me the opportunity to pitch for Transmissions.

DISCUSSION

3. Unfortunately, when I received the e-mail from dear, lovely Richard (not sure why I’m still sucking up… but there you go) I didn’t have a single idea.

4. Well, that’s not true. I had one idea, but to write the story I would have needed an intimate knowledge of Aramaic and at least three other dead languages. And while I willing to learn, I doubt Richard would have waited a decade for a 5,000 word story.

5. As the deadline for submitting an idea came closer and closer I accepted the fact that after nine Doctor Who / Bernice Summerfield short stories, I had run the tank dry.

6. And then, inspiration struck.

7. Well, actually, I was working on a particularly nasty policy document at work and as I struggled through it, I started to wonder what it would be like if everything in life was written like a policy document or a briefing note. You know, shopping lists, instruction manuals, screenplays, comics, and Doctor Who short stories – HEAVEN’S TO BETSY! Doctor Who short stories!!!! Suddenly, I had an idea.

8. The original intention was to write Policy to Invade entirely in the form of a policy document. But I quickly shelved that idea when I realised that there’s a reason why policy documents aren’t used for shopping lists, instruction manuals and writing Doctor Who short stories. Because, they’re really, really boring to read. And so I needed another ingredient to my make invasion outsourcing, seventh Doctor story work.

9. I just happened to be reading Rant by Chuck Palahniuk at the time. In that book (which I highly recommend, after a couple of duds, Rant was definitely a return to form… it has rabies, time travel and cars smashing into each other… it’s cool!) Palahniuk uses the interview method as his narrative device. And somehow it works. So, in great Doctor Who tradition, I decided to do a Robert Holmes and plagiarise.

10. Once I’d decided to borrow Palahniuk’s narrative device, everything else fell into place. The story was actually a heap of fun to write. I got to be all post modern with policy documents, I also had the opportunity to play around with different narrative voices, and I got the chance to take the Doctor to my favourite breakfast place, The European, which most definitely does make the best Eggs Atlantic in the Universe (that’s two poached eggs and salmon and two toasted muffins with creamy hollandaise sauce, yum).

CONCLUSION

11. So that’s the story behind Policy to Invade. It’s probably the quirkiest thing I’ve written, but also the most pleasing to put together. So go and buy Transmissions, not just so you can read my story, but so you can enjoy the other brilliant pieces in the collection. As you can see from the above, all of us had fun coming up with and writing our stories.