My housemate Teej, he’s so cool. Really he is. He can cook great Chinese, and he loves Jazz and he knows all the right things to say when you’re feeling a bit down.

And his cousin n law is the Managing Director of Village Roadshow. Mr Joel Pearlman. A fine, upstanding young man who was involved in the distribution of such films as Lord of the Rings and Matrix. He’s the guy who goes to Cannes and has big movie people try and sell films too him.

He is what we call in Yiddish a Macher. And he is honestly a top bloke to boot.

Anyway… he gave Teej two VIP tickets to see the premier of Blade Trinity and afterwards go to the After Party where you get to schmooze with the gliteratti of Melbourne etc. Teej couldn’t make it because he was sick, so I inivited my little bro to come along. He’s just turned 21 and he loves the Blade films.

So we rock up to the Jam Factory with these cool dog tags around our necks (I daresay you’ll be seeing them on eBay very soon) and the two of us actually got to walk the red carpet. It was bizarre. The plebs (as I now refer to them) look at you and wonder who the hell you are, are you someone famous. Of course you’re not, but just for a moment they’re attempting to match a face with someone from TV, and in that moment you’re possibly the most famous star EVER!!!!

Anyway, I saw Joel, thanked him and hurried to my seat. Joel introduced the stars – Jessica Beihl, Ryan Reynolds and writer director David Goyer. They said a few words… smiled, waved to the audience and…

… left.

Ah well, I suppose they’re sick of the film.

Anyways, we then saw Blade Trinity. I’m not going to review it coz I can’t be bothered. It’s an entertaining film, with some great set pieces, and Ryan Reynolds is hilarious. Yeah, maybe there’s some dodgy acting and some dodgy plotting, but I didn’t care. I was at a VIP PREMIERE BABY!!!

My bro and I went to the VIP party afterwards. Oh… wow… We were so out of place, what with the glitz and glamour, but we didn’t care one jot. The stars were sitting in the corner of the room, cordoned off by a velvet rope, and only special people, real special people, more special than me and my bro could talk to them. If Joel had been there, he might have facilitated a meeting, a heart to heart, a coming together of minds. But instead we watched, wide eyed and fascinated as a small slice of Hollywood bubbled away in the corner.

My brother is quite a clever young man and he positioned ourselves in the perfect place so when the “stars” decided to leave they would have to pass us. And after an hour of being photographed and meeting the Melbourne stars (mainly actors from Neighbours, and a whole bunch of other people that looked familair) they decided to leave.

And as they passed us, my brother shot out his hand and shared deep and meaningful words with Ryan and Mr Goyer.

Not wanting to stay with the riff raff (we’d obviously transcended to a higher plane at that point) we decided to leave.

I’m still buzzing from the experience. It was a very COOL night!